Break the Fear Habit: Here's How!

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Could you be addicted to Fear?

Do you find that you:

  • Watch the news way too much?

  • Have trouble sleeping?

  • Worry about the state of our country or the world?

  • Use escapist activities like too much TV, alcohol, drugs, food to deal with the stress & anxiety of it all?

  • Vent to your friends a lot about your worries, concerns and fears?

  • You aren’t sure what to do about any of this?

Addicted is a strong word so if you don’t quite relate that’s ok. Think of a continuum with peace, JOY, happiness on one end and Fear on the other. Most of us are somewhere in between - and LONG for less ups and downs and more centeredness.

Now check in with yourself and ask how HIGH is my stress, anxiety level on a scale of 0-10.

0-5 eh, Manageable - manageable because life is stressful at times.

6-7 Perhaps you’re having headaches, backaches, digestive problems, more reactive than you used to be.

8-10 WARNING - especially if you’ve been feeling this way for more than 2 or 3 weeks at a time.

We would be unreasonable to expect to live in state of JOY every moment of the day!  I wish. But, it is possible to have skills that allow you to more quickly and easily LET GO of stress and upset through so you feel better and can tolerate the ups and downs of life better.

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Now, imagine sitting on the beach of your choice. Waves are gently rolling into shore, the sound of birds lulls you, and the sun warms your skin. The colors of the sky and ocean and sand are soothing. Feel better?  (Free Guided Imagery download)

We want happiness and peace but LIFE often creates challenges, stress, anxiety and way too much busyness, say I, the busyness Queen.

The bla-ness of daily life we can usually distract ourselves from. But, how do we work through the painful feelings that come up with bosses, spouses, friends, FAMILY, so we can get back to feeling more balanced and happier?

One reason I wrote Intentional JOY is to share some of what I learned struggling with the same things you struggle with - fear, stress, emotional ups and downs that are part of life, but no fun.

 There are skills we can easily include in our day to allow life to be easier and more enjoyable - so let me share a few skills that if you practice more days than not - WILL lead to more JOY and less fear & stress.

JOY Guidelines:

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1. Conscious BREATHING
I know you’ve heard this one before – but do you do it? When stressed or upset take 10 breaths
Breathing creates a PAUSE and allows the emotional brain to calm down and your rational, thinking brain to get back on board. (If 10 breaths don’t work, do 20).

When we’re really emotionally upset, the logical, frontal cortex of our rational brain is hijacked by the emotional brain. We need to calm the emotional brain, so that we can think more clearly.

So we are in less pain and so we can think more clearly.

For bigger upsets try The TARA Process.

2. Feel Better More Quickly – The TARA Process
Remember the red and blue pills of The Matrix? If there was a pill you could take to make your emotions disappear would you take it?  I wouldn’t. But, I understand why we might want to – suffering sucks.

Suffering in emotional quicksand, as do we at times, is not fun. Some research says ALL STRESS is emotional!

Imagine you could more quickly and pretty easily move through the emotional ick of the moment.  I use this process for myself often and have taught to hundreds.

The TARA Process (Touch, Accept, Release, Action) works to SHIFT feelings about a situation. Once the emotion is released your thinking brain reloads!

Feelings aren’t monsters that sit inside of us, but if we aren’t used to paying attention to them, they can feel scary. 

Go to the TARA link, print out the form and experiment with situations that are causing stress.  If you get stuck, let me know. I do phone as well as in-person sessions.

3. Advanced Emotional Release:
Combining TARA with EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique, a research based tapping technique that follows the acupuncture (no needles – just light finger tapping) meridians or energy patterns of the body where emotions can hide out.  

For those of you with addictive issues and childhood trauma this is a fabulous technique. But, I recommend having a trained therapist to make sure there is emotional safety.

We all have a story. I grew up with alcoholic parents and had a number of traumas happen in childhood and my teen years that I spent years in therapy working to resolve. With conscious attention to what’s bugging me and a daily gratitude list, I’m a pretty happy gal.

My mission is to help others NOT spend years in therapy – to learn to love themselves, honor and acknowledge the strengths present and heal the broken places.  

Life is precious – all the parts of it. Louise Hay, of Hay Publishing, had a saying:  “Life Loves Me” and I switch it up with and “I Love Life.

For more specific stress and anxiety management strategies see my book: Intentional JOY: How to Turn Stress, Fear & Addiction into Freedom

Click here to get a FREE MP3 Download- 20 minute overview of Intentional Joy, including Research Based Stress & Anxiety Reducing Guided Imagery.

Please feel free to email or text me 209 505-2675. I’ll point you in direction of help or if you’re in my area perhaps be able to see you myself.

I offer a complimentary 15 minute consult to point you to new solutions. (209) 505-2675 or email me at lynn@addictionmodesto.com

Feel free to use all or part of this blog as long as you list my name, website and contact information.